Here is some free parenting advice. Don't blink.
Not because they'll grow up and leave you or anything sentimental like that (which I'm sure is true), but because if you blink, this will happen:
Just a cute picture of Sam, right? Wrong. Follow along with me, if you will.
Then I blinked.
And BAM.
This post is brought to you by OxiClean*.
*Not really.