While I am out of town working at Sports Camp this week, some of my favorite people are holding down the blog fort for me. Show them love. Today’s post is from Rebecca Barth, who is the resident faith writer at Fancy Little Things. Here is what you should know about Rebecca: She's awesome at camping. By awesome, I mean terrible. But it's awesome to laugh at her efforts.
Enjoy!
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It’s time for a Mommy Night Out for me. I know this because I am using a Lego creation as a paperweight and have Goldfish crumbs in my keyboard. I have lost the ability to form sentences of 3 words or more. I just tried to put my husband in a time out.
Yes, it’s time.
How can you spot the early warning signs that you need a Mommy Night Out?
1. Sandra Boynton has become your favorite author. Frankly, she’s the only author you’ve been reading lately. (Those pigs singing “La La La” are literary genius, I tell ya, genius!)
2. You have forgotten/have never heard words to popular songs on the radio, but can sing all of the verses to Farmer in the Dell from the farmer right up to the cheese without missing a beat.
3. You can’t find a pair of heels in your closet in 3 minutes or less.
4. Every cute shirt you own has been uniquely bedazzled with milk, ketchup, spit-up, or some other bold color conspicuously placed on the front. (I hear juice is the new black this season.)
5. The last time you put on mascara, your husband said, “Wow! Where are you going?”
6. You know how to do 21 different distracting techniques with one Kleenex.
7. You can’t remember when you last watched a TV show in “real time.”
8. Going to Target is your idea of escape.
9. You entertain the delusion that you might be able to run into the grocery store quickly to pick up a loaf of bread when you have all of the children in tow.
10. You forget what the big deal is with a Mommy Night Out in the first place.
If this also describes you, please immediately pick up the phone and find any female friend to call. This is an emergency. Book your Mommy Night Out today.
Of course, that’s assuming your cell phone isn’t mysteriously missing again.
